


New Beginnings

by Lazarus163



Series: Belonging [1]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, Canon-Typical Violence, Drama, F/M, Family, Family Drama, Fluff, Get's Back On Track Towards End, Hurt/Comfort, Like, Major canon divergence, Metatron's An Evil Dick, More Long Conversations, More Than In The Show, Only This Story In The Series Though, Oral Sex, Original Character Death(s), Overprotective Dean, Overprotective Sam, Past Child Abuse, Past Rape, Physical Abuse, Pregnancy, Psychological Torture, Rape, Romance, Sex, Tragedy, Unplanned Pregnancy, dark plots, long conversations, probably more than I intended, trust me - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-01-30
Updated: 2017-04-06
Packaged: 2018-09-20 22:47:03
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 4
Words: 17,550
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9519323
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lazarus163/pseuds/Lazarus163
Summary: Zoe was the love of Dean's life. During a fight with the Leviathan she was put into a coma for two years. Two years later, almost to the day, Cas finds a way to contact her.Upon waking in a world she thought was just a television show, Zoe must overcome some obstacles of her own in addition to the ever looming threat Metatron poses and the growing concern over what the Mark Of Cain is doing to Dean.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Okay, this is my first fanfic on here. First chapters are not my forte but I tried, (please forgive me.) So, without further ado, here is the first chapter.

"Dean!" She screamed, he spared barely a minute to look as she was thrown against the wall.  
"Hold on!" He shouted and he sliced off the Leviathan's head. He dropped it into the concrete and ran over to her. She was fighting with everything she had but it was a losing battle. He watched in horror as her skull was bashed in and she fell to the floor. He fell into a blind fury.  
After it was all said and done he and Sam looked down at her. Dean knelt beside her. His face warped into a mask of anger and terror.  
"Zoe..." He breathed out, her chest was barely rising. She hadn't moved, almost as if she were dead. "Zoe!"  
"Dean, we have to get her to a hospital." Sam said, "take her, I'll clean this mess up. Go!"

* * *

"The cranial trauma she has experienced is so intense..." The doctor shook his head, "Mr. Plant, the chances of her waking up are... Slim, to say the least. We aren't sure how she's alive, but we are going to do everything we can."  
And they did, but they couldn't get her to wake up. After a year they stopped trying. After fighting his way out of purgatory, after almost closing the gates of hell she never woke up. Cass couldn't heal her. He said he was blocked, to which Dean responded with a "fuck you" and stormed out.  
Sam had practically lost his best friend and Dean practically the love of his life. And he went back to that hospital, every chance he got. Charlie's funds helped some, paying off all the bills but there was no fancy procedure thy could do. There wasn't some medicine they could give her to wake her up. It just wasn't possible. And they told him. Every single time he went to visit her that it was looking hopeless.  
But he wouldn't believe it.

* * *

Reading, writing fanfics, being an introvert... Those were all things that made up Zoe's life. Well that and her job. It was something she had wanted to do since she was a little girl. Working with animals. Working full time at the animal shelter in the town of Brookline New Hampshire was rewarding. She absolutely loved small towns. She grew up in one, moved to one and made her career in one.  
The best part about it was the access to everything. Twenty minutes to her home town of Ashburnham, thirty minutes to Leominster. An hour and a half to Boston. She wouldn't trade it for anything in the world. But as much as she loved it, something always felt missing. And only one thing managed to mildly fill that void. Supernatural. Her favorite TV show...No, not just her favorite TV show. Her religion. Her life. To some it may sound crazy but to her it made perfect sense.  
People would look at her like she's crazy. Say "you're such a nerd" to which she would proudly respond, "yes. Yes I am." And she was okay with that, because it gave her something to look forward to every week. Then there were her fanfics. She had a small following of people who liked her stuff and she was more than okay with that. She always dreamt of being a published author and she a good thing going for her until that night two years ago. The night that changed her life.

* * *

**_2 Years Ago, Fitchburg Massachusetts (In Her Coma)_ **

Walking home from your sisters house is a bad idea. Even if she lived almost a mile away from the Ashburnham, Fitchburg, town line it still wasn't the best idea. Why? Because you meet people... Scary people. People out to hurt you. And that is how she ended up chained up in a house. Being tortured.  
"You're holding up too well! Break already, damn it!" The man screamed at her,  
"This is what you've done with your life since high school? Plan to abduct me? Because I didn't go to prom with you?!" That's when her life flashed before her every eyes. Because she couldn't keep her mouth shut. The pain didn't register at first. It was clouded by the imminent fear of the situation. Then she noticed the white hot, burning pain of a bullet pierce her.  
"Not just that... Because you got me arrested, because you led me on and then slammed the door in my face!"  
"We both know that isn't what happened," she bit out. That's when the police broke the door down. That's when she watched a man she knew get shot to death.  
Flash forward to present day she had a raging anxiety disorder that prevented her from doing many things she once used to be able to. Her publisher told her to get her head strait before starting work again. And she tried. Tried like hell. But it never took. PTSD didn't help with anything either but that was a lot easier to learn how to manage. But therapy was a dead end for her. Last year her therapist died from cancer and then she stopped everything.  
Stopped taking her medicine (which barely helped), stopped seeking help. That's when she found Supernatural. A character she could relate to right away was Dean. A man who internalized his problems, loves food and alcohol and values family above anything. Not to mention he is a total hottie.  
Not only that, when she looked at him she felt a longing. That void bursting to life again. Shooting tendrils of badness into her and never letting go.

* * *

_**Supernatural, Hospital In Huston Texas** _

Dean sat by her bed and held her hand. Wishing to see her blue eyes again. Hear her voice, and her laugh. See her smile. He looked down at his arm, at the Mark of Cain. The angry red lines that came off it made him grimace. Was it worth it? Was it worth the risk so they could kill Abaddon?  
That's when Cas came in with Sam.  
"What the hell?" Dean asked when they closed the doors. Sam cut his palm and began to paint sigils around the room. "What is going on?" Dean asked,  
"Cas found a way to reach her, Dean."  
"He doesn't have his mojo, even when he did he couldn't."  
"This time I am not trying to heal her. This time I am trying to reach her. I can send her message with this spell... It's more or less simple witchcraft... The only thing that makes it potent is that it requires blood." He looked Dean directly in the eyes, "your blood, Dean." Dean nodded and let go of her hand and stood where Cas directed him.  
"Olani vmd ol monons oi faaip. Vran bagle oi gohvlim." Cas chanted as he made a large cut on Dean's palm.

* * *

Zoe went on brake and out to her car. She lit a cigarette and leaned against it. Then she heard something. Almost in the very back on her mind.  
"Olani vmd ol monons oi faaip. Vran bagle oi gohvlim." She shook her head and looked down at her phone and scrolled through Facebook.  
"Huh, Jodie got married." She liked the photo and scrolled down again,

* * *

"Olani vls lit ol noromi ol noaln vran. Vran oi!" Cas placed his hand on Dean's for head and began to mutter something underneath his breath. "Take her hand and focus." He said slowly, Dean did so and closed his eyes before focusing. He found himself in a parking lot looking directly at her. Surprise, surprise, she still smoked.  
"Zoe..." He breathed out, she looked up from her phone as if she heard him. She actually looked directly at him, but she then shrugged and looked back down.  
"Dean, make contact with something and say what you need to say." He did so,  
"Stop. _Stop_ scrolling. Stop what you're doing and listen." He began, taking a deep breath he continued. "You don't belong here. This isn't your life. My name is Dean Winchester, and my brother Sam and our friend Cas are helping me do this." He licked his lips and blinked back a few tears. "You've been in a coma for two years now and Cas thinks he's finally found a way to contact you."  
She looked to be in deep thought. Maybe she could actually hear him. So, with another shaky breath, he continued,  
"He thinks you should still be in touch with your memories, of the Impala... Of us." He choked back a sob, "he uh... He said the last time he was in your head you were obsessed with Supernatural. And we think this is why. Because you realize where you belong. With _me_." He felt tears leave his eyes and swallowed hard, "so please... Wake up. I can't live without you. I can't stand you gone anymore."  
" _I'm so fucking sorry_... This is all my fault..." He let go of a small sob, "if I, uh... If I hadn't taken you with us that day... You'd be awake right now." He wiped at his eyes, "and I should have known, I could have stopped this." He sucked in a sharp breath. "We could still be together right now... So please, wake up... Just please."

* * *

Zoe scrolled through Facebook when she heard something.  
"Zoe," it was very faint. She looked up in front of her and for a split second thought she saw someone standing there. She shrugged and looked back down at her phone and that's when she saw a post.  
'Stop. _Stop_ scrolling. Stop what you're doing and listen. You don't belong here. This isn't your life. My name is Dean Winchester, and my brother Sam and our friend Cas are helping me do this. You've been in a coma for two years now and Cas thinks he's finally found a way to contact you. He thinks you should still be in touch with your memories of the Impala... Of us. He, uh... He said the last time he was in your head you were obsessed with Supernatural. And we think this is why. Because you realize where you belong. With _me_. So please... Wake up. I can't live without you. I can't stand you gone anymore. I'm so fucking sorry... This is all my fault... If I, uh... If I hadn't taken you with us that day... You'd be awake right now. And I should have known, I could have stopped this. We could still be together right now So please, wake up... Just please.'  
She could hear someone's voice overlapping as she read it. She could hear a few broken sobs and the voice sounded familiar... Sounded like home.

* * *

Dean opened his eyes,  
"We need to go!" Sam screamed, "Metatron's guys are here and they want Cas!" Dean wrote down his cell phone number on a piece of paper and put it in her hand before they ran. She had to wake up.

* * *

"Larson, my shift's over, I'm heading out." Zoe said to her boss,  
"Drive safe, it's really comin' down out there." She looked out the window of the shelter,  
"Whoa, yeah, back roads it is. I really don't feel like hydroplaning... Again." She ran to her car and got behind the wheel before driving off. As she pulled onto a side street she saw a bright yellowish light and then she blacked out.  
Upon waking, she realized she was in a hospital. And definitely not one she recognized.  
"Patient is awake after two years and four days." Zoe tilted her head up to see few doctors surrounding her.  
"Huh?" She asked, though she probably made no noise. Then she noticed that her throat was dry. It felt like sand paper dug into her throat every time she took a breath or swallowed.  
"We thought you weren't gonna wake up," a nurse told her. She had a southern drawl, that wouldn't have been weird if it wasn't for the fact that her scrubs said I love Texas on them. Then she felt something in her hand. Looking down it was a phone number.  
After a few hours of being checked out they got her food. And for some reason she ate as if she hadn't in a very long time. They said she was in a coma for two years, which didn't make sense to her. As she was just in her car three hours ago. What she had figured out as well is that she is in Paris Texas. The only person who had visited her was a man named Dean Plant, stupid name, right?  
Apparently he was her boyfriend. When she asked them to describe him her heart felt weak. The person they had described to her was a fictional TV character. So she kept looking at the number. Finally she decided to call. So she took the bedside phone, punched in the numbers and waited.  
"Hello?"  
"Is this real?"

* * *

Dean sat in the library nursing a beer. He and Sam were tired, Metatron was not letting up and Cas had to disappear yet again. His cellphone rang, without looking he answered.  
"Hello?"  
"Is this real?" Zoe!  
"Zoe..." Sam looked over at him,  
"Is this real?" She asked again, her voice weak. Dean put in on speaker, "because the last thing I remember before waking up was getting off shift from work and going home to watch Supernatural... A TV show."  
"It's real," he breathed out. Sam was almost in tears.  
"Okay..." She trailed off and Dean felt his heart clench. She didn't remember them. She didn't remember him. It hurt him in ways he couldn't describe.  
"We are comin' to get you, okay?"  
"Okay... Dean." The apprehension in her voice felt like a punch in the gut and the phone almost fell from his hand. She hung up and Dean placed the phone down and went silent. Sam looked at him. The hurt he could see. No, not hurt. Pain. He looked like he was in physical pain.  
Cas said she should remember, but she didn't. But she had enough sense to know that they wouldn't hurt her. Trusted them enough to know that she would be safe if she went with them.

* * *

Zoe hung up the phone. Her head hurt. Bad. She was to shocked to cry. To shocked to be scared. She barely had the strength to be angry at the situation. All she knew was that Dean and Sam could be trusted.  
"Are you okay?" A nurse asked, she nodded,  
"Just trying to wrap my head around what happened is all..."  
"It'll take some getting used to, sugar." She said with a laugh,  
"No shit." Zoe grumbled, the nurse made a noise. "Is there anyway I could get a cigarette?" She asked,  
"Sorry, hon. Gotta wait till your boyfriend gets here." She groaned and laid back. Dean isn't her boyfriend. He is a fictional character that sleeps around. She must be in a coma in her world.

* * *

Six hours later Dean pulled into a parking space. They walked slowly to the room and when Dean saw her awake he froze. She was a little thin but she was still the most beautiful girl he had ever seen. The girl that doesn't remember the memories between them. He wanted to push her. He wanted to make her remember but he couldn't. He couldn't force that on her.  
"Zoe..." He said in disbelief, she looked up and when she saw him she looked star struck. Then she mentally slapped herself. This wasn't Jensen Ackles walking over to her. This was Dean Winchester, badass hunter that she would drop her panties for in an instant. Also apparently the boyfriend she doesn't remember. And it was overwhelming.  
"We will be able to discharge her in about an hour." He nodded, after an hour they left. She sat in the back and began to complain about being hungry. So they stopped.  
"Cheetos, and get me pack of L&M's. And a lighter." She said, Dean went into the store. He returned and she immediately lit a cigarette. She leaned against the Impala.  
"I can't believe you're really here." Dean said,  
"You and me both." She grumbled around the butt of the cigarette. He gave her a look and she sighed. "I... I don't know what you want me to say." He nodded and looked away,  
"Nothin'," he said quietly. She rolled her eyes,  
"Hey, dumbass." She said, he looked over at her, this is the way his Zoe would talk to him. "My favorite show is centered around your life, I can tell when you're lying, Dean Winchester." She paused before speaking again, "and Sam, wipe that dumb smile off your face before I smack you." She said without looking at him. He frowned and looked away. "I may not remember you guys, but... You're practically my best friends in my world... Which sounds really lonely and fangirly, I know, but it's true."  
The brothers exchanged looks before looking back at her. She threw the cigarette away from the car.  
"What?" She asked, they both just stared at her.  
"That's what our Zoe sounds like. The way you just spoke." Sam said, Dean really couldn't say anything.

* * *

That night in the motel, she dreamt.  
_Walking through the abandoned house she spotted another man. He was tall, maybe 6'2, sandy blond hair, freckles, a well carved jaw line, rugged features, and in the glint of dawn the most gorgeous green eyes she had ever seen. Lips that were just plain kissable. And it set her at ease to realize he was a hunter as well. She moved forward and held her machete to the small of his back._  
_"Not really wise taking on a vamp nest without back up," she whispered._  
_"You're one to talk," he whispered back._  
_"Let's say we take this nest out and then I'll buy drinks?" She offered, he nodded._  
_"You're on,"_  
_Later that day they sat in a bar._  
_"Out of all the hunters I could meet, it is the infamous Dean Winchester." She said, "how'd you find your way to New Hampshire?" He shrugged,_  
_"We got a case, while Sammy deals with the other stuff, I decided to take out that nest."_  
_"Big and brave." She leaned over across the table and nibbled on his ear. "Just how I like em'." He gave her a charming smile and laughed a little._  
_"Sweetheart, you keep that up, we won't be able to finish our drinks." She nodded and sat back. "You know, you have quite the reputation among hunters, Zoe." She shrugged,_  
_"Less than you," she said with a smirk. "They think I'm unorthodox or some shit." She said as she took a shot, "they just plain don't like me. Maybe because I am better than some hunters who have been at this since they were our age. And let me tell you, the only older hunters I respect are Ellen and Bobby." Dean nodded,_  
_"Bobby is like a dad to me and Sam." He said, "hell, he's practically or father." Her face then turned serious,_  
_"Is it true?" She asked carefully,_  
_"Is what true?"_  
_"That you sold your soul?" He was quiet for a long time._  
_"Yeah... It is." He said quietly, "it is true."_  
_"You poor son of a bitch." She said, her voice gentle. "I respect you man. It takes some serious bronze to wrestle with that kind of shit." She said honestly,_  
_"Yeah, it ain't sunshine and rainbows, that's for sure." Everything went quiet for a while._  
_"Wow, I just killed the mood." She said slowly,_  
_"Nah," he said taking shot. "You're fine... It's kinda nice having someone to talk to." She blinked,_  
_"Yeah... That's good. I think?" She paused for a moment. "Yeah, we both just stabbed the mood right in its face." He nodded his agreement. She then decided to take a chance. "Let's get out of here." She said with a sultry grin, "Let's go have a nice, long, fuck."_  
_"Hell yeah,"_  
She woke up gasping. Dean right by her side.  
"I remembered the day I met you." She whispered, the look on his face was pure happiness. "A vamp nest in New Hampshire. Then I bought drinks... We fucked," her face was red with embarrassment. He chuckled,  
"We sure did... I don't think I had ever been sore up until then." She flushed redder. He laughed again,  
"You're a dick," she said halfheartedly. This Dean must be madly in love with her. Unlike the TV show Dean, this Dean is real. This Dean apparently knows who she is. And she feels at ease, he smiled at her.

* * *

They arrived at the bunker and that is where Zoe's fangirl came to life.  
"Holy shit!" She exclaimed, she ran right to Scimitar that Dean had played with when the brothers fist explored the bunker. "Holy crap, it is sharp." She whispered, she spotted another set of weapons and ran towards them.  
"Whoa, slow your roll." Dean said, she turned around holding a broad sword.  
"I can't!" She insisted, "you don't know how many times I was at home in bed watching TV thinking about living in the bunker. Well now it's happening and you want me to calm down? Nu-uh, not happening, gorgeous." She said with a smile and began to move around, oohing and awing at everything. Dean had to follow her and found her in the dungeon. She was staring at Crowley.  
"You're real!" She squealed, he gave her curious look.  
"Las time I checked you were in a coma... And what do you mean, "I'm real?" Of course I'm real!" Her hands were clamped over her mouth and her eyes were wide. She looked up at Dean,  
"He used his Crowley voice..." She whispered, she shrieked and jumped up and down.  
"Is she insane?" Dean shook his head,  
"Come on fangirl, let's go get somethin' to eat." Dean led her out and left a very confused Crowley behind. In the kitchen he started to make burgers.


	2. TapTapTap

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sam finds himself in trouble

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the wait guys! This has taken me a while to get out because my dumbass erased a seven thousand word chapter!!! *Glares at self in mirror with look of disgust* So instead of getting back to the seven thousand word mark I decided to keep it reasonable at around 3,500 words. 
> 
> See notes at the end of the chapter.

It had been a week. One glorious week of living with the Winchester brothers. That is until the other night. The night where she had gotten shitfaced and came onto Dean. Though he was happy about it he “politely” declined. To which she responded,

“You know what? Fuuuuck yooou, you just lost your chance at hitting this”

And that is how she found herself hiding in her room. Mortified.

“Zoe, you have to come out!” Sam called through the door,

“No!” She screamed, “I’m a slut!” She cried,

“Come out or I am coming in,” he threatened. When he heard nothing he sighed and picked the lock. “If you don’t get out of bed I will carry you.”

“You wouldn’t dare!” She hissed, he shrugged and slung her over his shoulder and walked out. “Put me down!” She yelled, he set her down. She grabbed a book before proceeding to hit him with it. “If you ever. EVER! DO THAT AGAIN, I WILL CASTRATE YOU WITH AN ICEPICK!” She smacked him in the side of the face and he stepped back a few feet with his hands raised.

“Okay!” He exclaimed, “I’m sorry. Jesus, you’re scary.” She went to hit him again when amused laughter was heard. She stiffened and turned around to see Dean with a bright smile. Oh god. Oh no. No, no, no, no, no. No no no no no. This was bad. Very, _very_ , bad.

“Oh, hi…” She said awkwardly, “um, I just remembered that there is a bed, in my bedroom, where I could be sleeping. So….” She tried to literally run back to her room but Sam grabbed her arm. She glared at him and twisted his nipple through his shirt and yanked down.

“What the hell!”  He exclaimed, Dean let go of a bark of laughter.

“Zoe, ‘s okay.” He said,

“No it’s friggen not!” She shouted, “I came onto you hard… Dean…” She walked right up to him and looked him in the eyes, “I _molested_ you.” She whispered,

“I’m not complaining,” he said with a cocky grin. Her face fell,

“You… I… God!” She exclaimed, she was blushing. “You and your stupid cocky attitude. You and your stupid snark!”

“That’s just part of the Dean Winchester package, baby.” She smacked him on the arm,

“I…” She was shaking she was so infuriated. No. Not just infuriated. Outraged. “I _cannot_ believe you.” She said with disgust.

“Why not, sweetheart?” He pouted a little and her eyes moved to his lips and then back to his eyes.

“Dean… I just spent two years in a coma, in that coma I thought you were a fictional TV character. A very hot, dangerous, bad boy, TV character… And you can tell, Mr. “I am very good at reading people” that I am _very_ attracted to you.” She shoved her finger against his sternum and he flinched. “If you try to play me one more time I will make everything that happened to you in hell look like child’s play.” She growled,

“For years, I was played, and exploited, and taken advantage of because I am easy to read. Well let me tell you one thing.” He gulped, “if you so much as try any of that on me ever again I. Will. Kill. You. Understand me, douche-for-brains?”

“I didn-“

“No? Pet-names? That I am very innocent tone of voice you were using… The way you pouted like you didn’t know why I was upset. That is called manipulating a situation so you don’t look like a dick. And I forgot something. That is game Dean Winchester knows how to play all to well.” She stormed off back to her room.

* * *

“I am going,” she said without looking up from her book.

“No, you’re not.” Dean said, she sighed and set the book down,

“And why is that?”

“The last time you went with us you got stuck in a coma for two years.” She got up and walked into Dean’s room and grabbed a box. Walking back out she set it down and looked him in the eyes. “What the hell?” She opened it and made a face,

“Busty Asian Beauty’s… Playboy, hustler… Skins…” She took out her lighter and lit them on fire and before lighting the box. “And there goes Dean’s famous porn collection.”

“You monster!” Sam was on the floor crying from laughing.

“Me? The monster?” She thought for a minute, “next thing will be  child locks on your laptop.”

“Oh yeah? Guess my password.” He stuck his tongue out at her and she raised an eyebrow,

“Sexybeat32,” she said with a challenging grin and his eyes widened.

“I… How?”

“Because… I know how to hack computers.” She said with a wicked grin, “by the way… Pornhub doesn’t work anymore… Neither do any of those other sites. And I can fix that problem if you let me go on this case.”

“Not happening,” he said. He was pissed now,

“Hey Sam, wanna paint the impala pink?”

“Stay away from her!”

“Then let me go.” She said, “that’s all you have to do. Look, it’s a ghost, right?” Dean nodded slowly, “I can do research, while you and Sam do your thing. I know how to do salt lines… Hell, stop at Walmart and get me a hula-hoop.” Dean made a face,

“A hula-hoop?”

“Yeah, fill it with salt. Never again will you have to put down a circle of salt.”

“Salt filled hula-hoops…”

“Where did you come up with this?” Sam asked,

“I didn’t… Tumblr did. I wonder if Becky ever thought of-“

“No!” Sam exclaimed,

“Oh yeah… Crossroads demon and potion…”

* * *

Irony? God being a cock bag? What was Gabriel said? You’re being a great big bag of dicks? Yes, that’s it. God was being a great big bag of dicks. Why? Because the case was in the town of Brookline New Hampshire. Where she spent two years trapped in her own mind. What scared her though was that the people were all to real.

Familiar faces dotted the small town everywhere she looked. Was she also prophetic it some way? That seemed to be the only explanation as to why her crush from high school was looking directly at her.

“Zoe…” His voice was astonished.

“Hi…”

“Where the hell have you been? You dropped out of school and just left.”

_Getting home from school was probably her favorite part of the day. That is until she heard the scream._

_“Diane!” She ran to the living room and her stomach lurched,_

_“No!” Her older sister was bent over the lifeless body of their mother._

_“Diane!” She screeched when a man hit her. His teeth were all in fine points._

_“What’s going on?” She heard a small voice ask,_

_“Danny, go back to your room.” The man threw her out of the way and snapped his neck._

“Zoe!” Tim called,

“My little brother died, and so did my mom…”

_The man turned on her and bared his teeth and then stilled. His head rolled off his shoulders and a man stood behind him. That man she later found out to be John Winchester._

“Look, I ran… I… I have to g-go.” She pushed past him and out of the store.

“Hey,” Dean said. She dropped the bags and threw her arms around him and began to cry.

“I remembered… My mom… My brother.” Dean hesitated for a minute but wrapped his arms around her and held her tightly.

* * *

 

“Okay. I got something,” Zoe said from her spot on the bed. “Lynne Schuffer, died May 4, 1969 in the house. Reports over the years from victims that lived say that the sound of crying was heard before all of their attacks. Here’s the thing, all the attacks were made with a meet clever but none was ever found at the crime scene.” Sam nodded,

“Okay, I’ll go talk to Mrs. Peterson, Dean go to the morgue.” Sam said,

“Okay and Zoe…”

“I have the bathroom as sanctuary. Salt surrounding the tub.” She said, they both nodded and set out. She sat back and looked around the room. “Wow… This is boring as hell.”

* * *

Three hours later, and half a 30 rack gone, Zoe was very drunk. She was so drunk in fact that she couldn’t really remember the last two previous hours besides the strange man that showed up at her door. He was short and leaked arrogance everywhere.

“Hey! I got you th- WHAT THE FUCK!” Dean exclaimed,

“Wha?” She slurred,

“Y-you’re naked.”

“O ye, I wa hot.” She managed, “nd’ I wanted to tawk,” she tried to get up but fell back.

“Why did you need to talk naked?” He was trying desperately to look anywhere besides at her.

“Because… Because, because Dean…. I want.. I wan you to g’ naked with me.” He swallowed hard,

“We… We’ve been over this. I can’t Zoe, you’re drunk and you don’t remember what we had.” She pouted,

“Okay.. Bu, um, how dead lady?”

“Well, she’s dead. And she had a coin lodged in her throat.”

“Why?” She slurred,

“Okay, can you put on some clothes?”

“I can’t, cuz m’ drunk.”

* * *

 

**_1 Day Later_ **

“I fucking hate it when kids get involved, Sam.” Dean said as they approached one of the vics homes,

“Look, they said her death was natural. She had lymphoma, Dean.”

“She also had that ghosts greeting card.” He said angrily,

“Okay, maybe it was the ghost, but she was cremated. And her last known relative has all her possessions and won’t let a single person near them.”

* * *

**_On The Other Side Of Town_ **

“Ms. Schuffer?” Zoe asked,

“It’s starting again, isn’t it?” The old woman asked,

“Yes. Is there something personal of hers that she may be tied to? Please, help us.” Zoe begged, Dean be damned, if she could help she was going to. “I know that you don’t like people turning up at your doorstep but people are dying. And the only way I can help stop this is if you give me that thing… You have to say goodbye.”

* * *

“Dean, it is a locket with hair in it. I got it, meet me asap.” She said into the phone,

“What the hell are you doing. What part of “stay put” didn’t you understand?”

“The part with the staying.” She said with a laugh, “look meet me in the cemetery in five, ‘k?”

“If something happens to you, I am not gonna help.” He threatened,

“Why don’t I believe you?”

* * *

Everything was going so smoothly until she was thrown into a headstone. Did you know granite could crumble? Yeah, neither did Zoe until her back collided with it.

“Burn the fucking locket!” She screamed, the spirit approached her and she threw salt at it. “Take that you bi- ah!” She was hauled off the ground, Dean grabbed the locket and tossed it into the fire and the ghost screamed. Holes started burning through her and she released her hold on Zoe. With a final scream she burst into flames and then vanished.

“Are you fucking insane?!” Dean snapped,

“Are you?” She retorted, “look, the job is done, I only have a few broken ribs, I call this a win!” She looked around, “where’s Sam?”

* * *

_DripDripDrip_ is all Sam could hear. What the hell had happened? He remembered getting out of the Impala with Dean and then nothing.

 _TapTapTap_ he heard from next to him and looked over.

“You never escape. No, oh no. Once here you never have to fear. Once here always here,. Yes. That’s it.”

“Um… Where is here?”

“Don’t know. It’s in the food. In the water. On the walls, in the ceiling. TAPTAPTAP, is all you hear when you lay down your head. And the DRIPDRIPDRIP of the blood. Yes the glorious blood.” Sam had seen many things since he started hunting but the deformed man next to him made him cringe. This was a horror movie situation at its finest and Sam wasn’t entirely sure where to go from here.

“ _DripDripDrip it goes. No one really knows. The creaking, the clanking, the smell of blood, we all end up bones in the mud._ ” The thing sang, “ _here I come my precious child. Fear not for this torture is not mild. Breaking, gnashing, jaws steel. The blood, oh yea, it will make you reel. But sunlight never shines, moonlight never glows. In the hallows of this cavern reflect all your fears and woes._ ” Cavern! He was in a cavern,

“Yeah, I’m just gonna go…” He fished his phone out h=of his pocket and turned the flashlight on.

“What is that marvelous invention?”

“A cellphone,” Sam responded gruffly.

* * *

Dean and Zoe looked around frantically. For a week they stayed in the town but nothing. So did they leave? Did they pack up and wait for him to call?

“Dean, you and Sam are the best hunters around. Whatever got the jump on him knew what it was doing.” Zoe sighed and took a drag of her cigarette,

“I know that already!”

“Don’t scream at me, it will solve nothing. Look, I searched into local legends and the cave systems in the woods here are all connected. Pagan fear demons are what people are saying.”

“The hell is a Pagan fear demon?” Zoe looked shocked, Dean Winchester, hunter extraordinaire didn’t know what it was.

“The lore says all the same things. But the thing is…”

“The thing is…” He echoed,

“They have a true form. Tall, dark, hollow red eyes, claws, no mouth, no nose. They play off fear. Feed off it. They haven’t been since before biblical times, but what is said about them is they take shape of your fears. Not like the thing from Harry Potter, it is so much worse.” She handed him her phone so he could read what she had. “The tricky thing is they are truly immortal. Like, God level immortal. And I’m talking the Christian God. The only way to incapacitate one is with _sanctified blood_ blessed by a Wiccan of high esteem and dip an obsidian dagger into it. The blood by being blessed becomes a certain type of holy and with the dagger should put it down for a couple hundred years.” Dean nodded and handed back her phone.

“I don’t want to work with a witch.” He grumbled,

“Not a witch, a Wiccan, two entirely different things.” She said, he responded with a pout, and damn if it wasn’t the sexiest thing she had ever seen. They had spent a weeks looking for Sam and she was definitely beginning to feel something for Dean. Like yeah she had seen go out of his mind for the people he cared about but this was something different. He wasn’t only focused on finding Sam. He was focused on making sure she was okay as well.

* * *

 

Dean had never expected to end up in Salem Massachusetts. Not ever. But here they were and Zoe insisted they enjoy it.

“Rockafellas!” She exclaimed, “one pound burger on brioche, with a fried egg on top… And their beer is so cheap.”

“We have to get that dagger blessed,” he said.

“Yeah, okay… We will come back here and you will buy me jewelry from that nice sterling silver shop. And lunch is a must have.” She said with a smile,

“Did you just ask me out and demand I buy you food?” Her cheeks flushed,

“Well, um you know as friends...” She laughed nervously, “it isn’t like I’m super crushing on you or anything. Which I am so not.”

“Okay… A date as “friends”” he said with air quotes.

“Things I never thought I’d see. Dean Winchester using air quotes.” They fell into a comfortable silence as they walked. They arrived at shop and Zoe glared through the window. “Nope,” she said.

“What do you mean?”

“This shop is bogus. I may know someone… At least I did in my coma.” She closed her eyes and thought for a moment before tugging Dean in the direction of the store. What was instantly clear was that it was legit. One was the real human remains. The other was that it was tucked into a back corner of the square almost avoiding public eye. Then there were the books. All things Bobby would have wished he could have had his hands on. Working the counter was a young woman. She was short, mid twenties, eyebrow and nose piercing, long brown hair and blue eyes.

She radiated some sort of confidence and at the same time and edge of danger. She was the real deal alright.

“No shit!” She exclaimed, “you leave school, disappear for… God I don’t know how long it’s been, and now you’re here. Damn girl, still lookin’ fine.”

“I expected you to have the same reaction as Tim.”

“Oh yeah, he called me, told me he saw you. Really didn’t believe him though… Dean Winchester.” She cocked her head, “you’re running with the Winchester’s? Do you have a death wish or are you just fucking stupid?”

“Good to see you too, Taylor.” Zoe grumbled,

“Look, I’m not gonna judge, I just thought you’d be not a hunter. Anything but a hunter.”

“What’s wrong with hunters?” Dean asked,

“Besides the obvious? I get hunters in here at least twice a week looking to pick a fight when I do nothing wrong. Only the people who know about real witchcraft know my store and my name is sought after.”

“Seems pretty arrogant,” Dean grumbled. She made a face,

“Look who the fuck is talking!” She snapped, “clearly you didn’t come buy to shoot the breeze so what do you guys want? Charms? A spell?”

“No…” She pulled out the dagger, “I need you to bless my blood and dip the dagger in it so we can kill a Pagan fear demon.” Taylor let go of a hearty laugh.

“That’s a good one, seriously why are you here?” When Zoe or Dean said nothing Taylor took a deep breath and nodded. “You’re serious… Give me the dagger.” Zoe handed it to her, “I don’t know where you got this but it is very fake… Look, I have one. It is old and don’t hold the blade anywhere near you.” She point to the scar on her shoulder, “that was from the hunter I got it off of and it barely touched me. Now give me you arm.”

Zoe went to hold out her arm but Dean pushed her aside and held his out,

“Sorry, sweetness, but you’ve experienced death. Your blood’s not gonna work.”

* * *

Sam was completely lost. In the woods. He hadn’t eaten in he doesn’t know how long. Every time he heard the road and moved towards it he ended up further back into the forest. Getting out of the cave was the easy part but the things that had plagued him since stepping into the fresh air he had momentarily believed as a savior were actually terrifying. He would see images of Dean dead or Zoe being tortured.

Then there was the thing. Not really much else to call it. Maybe a creature? He didn’t know. But it was tall, completely black, had hollow red eyes, no mouth or nose and claws. Claws that he swore dripped blood. And he could only see it out of the corner of his eye. Never getting a complete focus on it.

He must be dehydrated. Because out of everything he and Dean had faced he knew the thing he was seeing could not be real. But when he heard the wail of an animal he stopped. Did he have his gun? He felt his waist band and breathed and let go of a breath he wasn’t sure he had been holding.

It started again. TapTapTap. Now that he was in the open he could hear footsteps. Whipping around he didn’t come face to face with another horrifying hallucination. It was a Puma. It snarled and licked it’s lips and he took out his gun.

It crouched looking ready to pounce and then it let go of a cry and cowered in fear. He gasped and felt blood trickle down his back. Sinking to his knees he spared a look at the big cat that was now dead on its side and that thing bent over it.

TapTapTap.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah. A cliffhanger. Hate me. Love me. Loathe me. I don't care, just as long as you are enjoying the ride. Next chapter we get a look at Zoe's past as both a hunter and what her life was like in the coma. Yes, that short arrogant man was Metatorn.


	3. The Weght of Memories

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Zoe struggles as more memories of her life as a hunter surface. Also she comes to decision that not only impacts her but Dean as well.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so sorry it has taken me this long to get this chapter out. My depression has been kicking my ass. Anyhoo. 
> 
> There is Dean and Zoe sexy time in this chapter.

TapTapTap 

That noise. That fucking noise. What was it? He watched as the animal began to bleed. 

“Watching is unkind,” he heard. It wasn’t coming from any one direction, more like it surrounded him. Enveloped him. 

“You stabbed me,” he shot back. 

“I grow tired. You are resilient. Most mortals would have been crushed by this, but I should have suspected as much from Lucifer’s vessel.” It’s voice wasn’t remotely human, and as it approached Sam he began to feel something he hadn’t felt in a long time. Crippling fear. It wasn’t like facing the apocalypse time and time again. It wasn’t like encountering an evil he wasn’t sure could be stopped. It was raw terror that cut deep to the bone. 

But when he saw the familiar head of dirty blonde hair he locked eyes with the creature. 

“Hey ugly!” It turned to face Dean and then an unholy scream ripped out of it. It was high pitched and ear piercing. Spots that looked like embers began to form on its skin and with a shriek it fell to the ground. Zoe stood with a dagger covered in a viscus grey liquid and there were hints of red. She looked beyond satisfied with herself. She twirled the dagger in hand and walked up to the thing to get a better look at it. 

“Boy, you weren’t lyin’ when you said ugly.”

* * *

 

Skipping Salem was probably a wise idea on her end. Factors recently came into play and she was having none of it. Walking into the bunker she ran strait to her room and slammed the door. 

“Zoe!” Dean banged on the door, “what’s wrong?” She grabbed the sides of her head and she felt blood trickle down out of her nose. 

_She watched as they lowered her brothers casket into the ground. She didn’t want to feel anymore. She wanted to close out the world and let the grief that clouded her mind consume her._

_“We are gathered here today in remembrance of Danny Malone. We are also gathered in remembrance of Sarah Malone Hagerty. Who both lost their lives in a tragic home invasion last week, December 16, 2003” The pastor said,_

_“You need to leave?” Taylor asked her,_

_“If I leave people are either gonna glare at me or give my that pitying fucking look and I don’t want either of those things to happen.” Zoe only had her sister. Her father, Peter, died two days after Danny was born in a car accident and her ex step dad was the scum of the earth._

_“Sweetie, go be with your friends. I’ve got this,” Diane told her._

_“I’m supposed to speak and sing so that’s what I’m doing.”_   
_“The youngest daughter of Sarah and sister to Danny is going to say a few words and sing in their honor.” She approached the podium that was set up in the cemetery. The attendances were all seated under a tent on the unusually warm and rainy for a December Tuesday._

_“My little brother was a light that will never be seen on this earth again. He was brave. For eleven years old he was smart. Kind…” Tears fell from her eyes, “an old soul, some might say. Giving me insight when I was at my lowest points. Being the voice of reason in a sometimes hectic family.” She took a deep breath, “and he was my rock.” People were crying with her. His friends, their family, even some of the people from her school showed up to give support._   
_“And… When I close my eyes at night…” She took another jagged breath and tried to continue, “and when I close my eyes at night all I can see is his bright face. The kid who once broke his arm and laughed because it looked cool… I’m never gonna see him again. Not in this life.” She looked at his casket and shed a few tears,_

_“My mother was the strongest, brightest, and kindest woman to walk the face of this planet. Yeah, I’m biased, but three of my best friends called her mom. And when I think that she is never gonna see me get married, or have a family… It is too much. But I also know that she would be proud of me for speaking today… Because her “little girl” is growing up.” She began to sob and Taylor rushed to her side. “The day of her murder… That morning we got into a fight. I told her to go to hell and that I wished…”_

_She took a deep calming breath,_

_“I told her that I wished she had died and not Dad… But mom, I love you. I love you so much, and I am sorry for the shit that I said to you. I… Don’t know how I am going to live without you.” Zoe closed her eyes and took long calming breaths and began to sing My Immortal by Evanescence._

_“I’m so tired of being here,_

_Suppressed by all my childish fears_

_And if you have to leave_

_I wish that you would just leave_

_‘Cause your presence still lingers here_

_And it won’t leave me alone_

_These wounds won’t seem to heal_

_This pain is just to real_

_There’s just too much that time cannot erase_

_When you cried, I’d wipe away all of your tears_

_And when you’d scream, I’d fight away all of your fears_

_And I held your hand through all of these years_

_But you still have… All of me_

_And she sang her heart out and watched as people were reduced to sniffling messes. She knew she had a good voice and she chose the very right song to describe how she felt. To make people understand what she felt. To make them hurt too. Because she would be damned if she was the only one wearing her emotions on her skin. She would rather go to hell than suffer by herself. And that is what she felt like she was doing. Suffering alone._

Zoe found herself on the floor of her bedroom with her back to the door. She was in tears. That pain was fresh and new like it had only happened moments ago but in actuality it happened eleven years ago. Every time she was hit with a memory it was worse than the last.   
She felt fresh guilt wash over what she said to her mother that day. 

“Zoe!” Dean called, “open the door. Please.” The concern in his voice was enough to get her to move. She moved away from the door and sat on her bed. Dean forcefully opened it and walked in. His eyes widened at the sight of the blood that dripped from her nose. “What the hell is going on? You’ve been ignoring me for over an hour.” So she explained what had happened, every single detail. By the end she was crying harder. 

“It’s like there are two different sides to me. This me and coma me… And apparently this me wants control back. But my mom… Dean, my mom and my little brother are the reason I got into hunting in the first place. Because the thing that killed them was a vampire.”

* * *

She doesn’t remember falling asleep. But upon waking she realizes her head is against a firm chest. Zoe doesn’t move. Doesn’t shy away. She just lays there in the warmth of his embrace. She had never felt so safe. So protected in ones arms. 

Zoe walked into the Roadhouse and sat at the bar. 

“What can I get for you?” 

“Whiskey, neat.” Another hunter sat down next to her and looked down her top. “Make that a double, Ellen.” She pushed more bills towards her and Ellen handed her the drink. 

“What brings you round’ here? I haven’t seen you in almost a year.” Ellen leaned against the bar, 

“Demons,” she said. 

“You’re shittin’ me.” 

“Unfortunately I am not.” She tossed back her drink and tapped the bar, “I need information. A little birdy in Arkansas told me I might be able to get help here.”

“Sorry, can’t help ya. Ash is already booked.” 

“Ash? Mullet, cocaine, drunk guy is actually doing something?” Ellen laughed, 

“Those Winchesters sure love getting into trouble.” 

“Winchesters? As in Dean?” 

“Oh yeah… Boys!” She called with a bright smile, Zoe hung her head against the bar. Never did she think she’d see Dean ever again but there he was, with a tall gangly kid she assumed to be Sam. 

“Ellen, two beers.” Dean said, she rolled her eyes but got them the beer. Much to her dismay Dean sat right next to her. “Hey there, sweetheart.” She rolled her eyes and picked up her head, 

“Hey dumbass,” she said with sneer. 

“Zoe! Fancy seein’ you here.” She groaned, 

“Look, you’re hot, we had sex, but, been there, may do that again just not right now. I am working a case.” 

“Really? Me and Sam might be able to give you a hand.” 

“Demons,” she said. “I have been following omens. Care to explain?” 

“The hell is that supposed to mean?” 

“Well mullet, cocaine, drunk guy is busy helping your sorry ass and from what I hear you and your baby bro have caused a bit of trouble.” 

“Who the hell told you that?” 

“Doesn’t matter, now explain before this gets personal.” She threatened, 

“Nothin’ to tell, sorry.” 

“Best not lie to her, she could make an ex marine squeal.” Ellen warned, 

“Bull,” Dean challenged. She shrugged and grabbed the back of his neck and slammed his head against the bar. She took a gun out and trained it at Sam.   
“Sam, you move another inch you’ll look like a bowling ball. Dean, tell me what the hell is going on.” He tried to moved his head but she squeezed on a pressure point and he groaned, “you don’t want to play this game with me.” 

“Alright, you wanna fight take it outside and come back in when your done. Dean you lay a hand on her I will kick your ass.” Ellen said in a deadly calm voice. The three headed outside, 

“Dean, just tell her.” Sam said when they got outside, 

“She doesn’t need to know dick!” She walked up to him and looked him in the eyes. 

“You listen to me, there is a demon out there killing people. The name Meg mean anything to you?” She folded her arms over her chest and gave him a curious look. 

“Whatcha thinkin’ about?” Dean asked sleepily, she felt a bit of blood trickle from her nose. 

“The second time I met you was at the Roadhouse in 2006. I almost shot Sam and pinned you to the bar… I’m such a bitch,” she wiped the blood from her nose. Dean let go of a lazy laugh, 

“I had never met another woman besides Ellen I was actually afraid of.” She smiled and nuzzled against his chest. 

“Why do you care so much about me?” She asked after a long moment, 

“I…” He  took a deep breath and stroked his hand down her back, “I loved you… I still love you.” She nodded, “you’re also my best friend.” She turned her head to look at him and he gave her a sad smile. 

“Dean… That part of me. The hunter me, loved you… And, uh, I can feel it but at the same time I am really overwhelmed. I thought that you were a fictional character… I remember when Supernatural came on air. Everything is just so conflicting… And…” She took a chance and leaned up. Her lips brushed against his.   
She looked into his eyes and he leaned back in. When their lips met she could have sworn she saw sparks. His lips were soft and gentle and she paid attention to every detail. The way his stubble tickled her skin, the way it made her feel.

* * *

Standing outside she smoked a cigarette. The memory of the kiss on replay. That’s when she watched as a very ugly yellow car pulled up to the bunker. Stepping out was a redhead, she stood around 5’5, had gorgeous features and was definitely a nerd. Down to the Harry Potter shirt that read, “Kiss Hermione.”  
And it took a little bit more time for it to register that Charlie Bradbury stood in front of her. Sam and Dean came out and she smiled. 

“What’s up, bitches?” Zoe swore her heart stopped. Her favorite character from Supernatural had just said her favorite line. “Why is she staring at me like that?” Charlie asked quietly, 

“This is Zoe… Fangirl extremist,” Dean said. 

“She’s awake?!” Charlie exclaimed, “I’m Charlie, nice to meet you.” She held out her hand, Zoe gawked at her. 

“I… Um…” Zoe shook her head, “I’m Zoe Malone, nice to meet you too.” She began to study her, “the more I look at you the more you remind of the potential from season seven of Buffy. Vi! That’s her name.” 

“Really?” Charlie asked, 

“Definitely, she becomes such a badass at the end. And in the comics,” 

“Yes!” Charlie exclaimed, 

“You like Buffy?” 

“It is a sin not to,” 

“Okay, then I can finally say this to someone without them looking at me like I’m crazy. Remember when Willow brought Buffy back at the beginning of season six with The Urn of Osiris?” Zoe asked, 

“Um, yes!”   
“Then flash forward 19 episodes Tara dies. My theory, even with The Urn of Osiris balance had to be found among the living and I think Tara was the balance.” Charlie thought for a long moment, 

“Holy moly you’re right!” Dean and Sam exchanged glances and then looked back at the two woman. 

“Also did you realize that Amber Benson got her first and only credit as main cast the episode she died? I am not even joking, look it up.”

“That’s so wrong!” 

“She’s married to Adam Busch now, dead serious.” Charlie laughed, 

“Your girlfriend is my new bestie,” Charlie said to Dean. Then she saw the look of pain that flashed his features, 

“Not really girlfriend… I don’t have my memories. I mean… I’m remembering some things here and there but all the stuff I know about you is from the life I made up in my coma. Where Supernatural was a TV show and you three are my favorite characters.”

* * *

 

Zoe sat with her back to the headboard and her knees to her chest. She felt like she was running on auto pilot. Going through the motions. The only thing that felt real was the bed beneath her and the air she breathed but everything else felt fake. 

It wasn’t like living a dream. It was like taking a lot of cough syrup I guess it would be. Everything was real but it wasn’t. Charlie Bradbury was in the room next to her with Dean and Sam Winchester watching “Game Of Thrones” and she didn’t want to be included. Not because it didn’t sound fun but because she felt so out of place. 

_“Dean! Dean! Wake up, please wake up. No, no, no, no!” She looked at his mutilated body and how his eyes had stayed open. The fear of dying etched in them._

_“See?” Lilith said, “he’s where he belongs now.”_

_“Zoe close your eyes!” Sam barked, she shut them and she felt Sam’s arms brace her. A very bright light glowed and she expected to feel pain. To feel anything but she felt nothing._

_**Three Days Later** _

_She stood back and watched as Bobby laid Dean in the casket. Sam dug the hole and hopped out to help Bobby._

_“Sammy?” She asked,_

_“Yeah?”_

_“We should burn him.” She knew she said the words but they came out broken and she began to sob. Bobby and Sam lowered Dean into the ground and Zoe took up her shovel and helped. An hour later it was done. The only thing that was there to represent Dean was the make shift cross. Sam left right after saying he’d keep in touch but she had a strong feeling that was the last she would see of Sam._   
_Her family had fallen apart. The love of her life was dead and the only person who would comfort her was Bobby. So that’s what he did. He stayed with her and let her take the time she needed to say goodbye. To say all that she needed to say._

_“Dean… I love you. And I am so sorry that I never got the chance to say it. You’re my everything.”_   
_So after placing a kiss to the cross she walked away with Bobby. Noting the way the wind almost screamed. How it seemed that the world was grieving with her._

_**4 Months Later** _

_There was a knock at Bobby’s door. Zoe sighed and went to answer it but nothing prepared her for what she saw staring back at her. Dean, dirt on his skin, his eyes welled when he saw her. But the years of being a hunter kicked in she kicked him in the chest and sent him flying off the porch._

_Bobby heard the crash and ran to see what was going on and that’s when he saw her crouched over someone that looked like Dean with a knife to his throat._

_She dumped holy water on him and dug the blade into his skin._

_“Exorcizamus te, omnis immundus sipritus. Omnis satanica potestas, omnis incursio infernalis adversarii, omnis leg-“ he leaned up and kissed her and she felt it. It was Dean. He was back._

_“Dean?” She croaked,_

_“That’s right, it’s me, baby.” She leaned down and kissed with everything that she had._

_“You were dead… You were dead…” She sobbed, she got off of him and he pulled her into a tight embrace._

_“It’s okay, sweetheart, I’m back.” He rubbed his hand up and down her back. “I’m back,”_

_“It’s good to see ya, son.” Bobby said, Dean nodded at him and Bobby smiled. Zoe cried louder when he planted a kiss against her cheek._

_“I love you so much,” he whispered._

_“I love you too,” she cried._

She grasped the side of her head when the headache worsened.

_“Both of you stop!” Zoe screamed, she watched as Dean decked Sam. Sam got to his feet and threw Dean across the motel room. “Stop!” When they ran at each other she moved between them and neither stopped in time. She felt two powerful blows, one to the side of her face and one to her ribs. “Stop!” She yelped, the minute they realized what they had done they both froze._

_“You’re brothers! Dean, Sam has had a psycho whispering in his ear for a year and a half now… And Sam…” Both of them took steps closer and she held out a gun and trained it at Sam._

_“Zoe…” Dean froze again,_

_“And you… If you weren’t my best friend… I would hunt you.” She growled, Sam’s face fell and he sat down._

_“Zoe,” she let the gun fall to her side and she glared at Dean. A lone tear falling from her eye._

_“And you… You talk about family. About how it is the most important thing to you… But this isn’t family. You are becoming your father.” She said quietly, “Dean, until you work this shit out… We’re through.” She let go of a breath and looked down at the ring on her finger. The diamond ring that he had put there not hours before. She took it off and handed it to him before walking to the door and stopping for just a moment._

_“And this is the hardest thing that I have ever had to do because you are my family… The only one I’ve got left.” She walked out of the room and slammed the door. When the crisp night air hit her skin she began to sob. ‘What’d I do?’_   
_Tears rolled down her cheeks and the headache turned splitting._

_Hours later, Bobby opened the door to reveal a crying Zoe._

_“You have a place I can stay?” She asked, Bobby nodded and stepped aside._

_“What’d he do?” So she told him, his eyes flashed with fury when he found out where the bruises came from. When she told him that Dean had proposed and she all but had to throw the ring back in his face because of what had happened is when she truly broke._

_**One Week Later** _

_Zoe sat out in Bobby’s garage and took a drag off her cigarette. She lifted the beer to her lips but stopped when she heard the roar of the Impala. She dropped the cigarette and set the beer down before making her way over to the Impala._

_“You have a lot of nerve coming here, boy.” Bobby said to Dean, “what the hell were you two thinkin?”_

_“Bobby, we know we screwed up. That’s why we’re back.” Zoe stepped forward,_

_“I’m not just gonna jump right back into things with you.” She said to Dean, “I have a broken rib.” And then she glared at Sam and pointed the welt on the side of her face, “and you… I will stand by what I said… But we are family…  So yeah, Bobby, let them in, give em’ drink, tell em’ what you’ve found out.”_   
_She walked away back to her place and sat down in the chair. She took a long pull from her beer and closed her eyes._

_“I’m sorry.” She looked at Dean and shook her head,_

_“Good for you,” she snapped. “I don’t care if you are sorry. I wouldn’t care if you got on your hands and knees to convince me to take you back… Until you two actually sort out your shit… Dean, I still I love you, with everything that I am, and I said yes… But you have to understand that I am not getting caught in the middle of you and Sam again.”_

_“I’m sorry, baby.” Tears shined in his eyes, “I shouldn’t have hit you, I’m so fucking sorry.” The remorse she heard in his voice was welcomed but it changed nothing. He fucked up._

_“Dean, being hit isn’t what is hurting. It’s the fact that two people I love most on this planet are trying to kill each other… Until you get your shit sorted we can’t be together. End of discussion.”_

Blood flowed freely from her nose.

_She never took the ring back. She and Dean had gotten back together when she saw an improvement in the brother's relationship but it only lasted so long._

_“Sam you walk out that door don’t think about comin’ back!” Dean screamed,_

_“Sam… Please don’t do this.” Zoe begged, that’s when Sam made the worst decision of his life. He shoved Zoe out of his way. After the initial shock wore of Zoe reared back and punched as hard as she could._

_“You wanna shove me do ya?” She kneed him in the crotch and brought her elbow down on the back of his neck. “You really wanna walk around with Demon slut of yours?” She kicked him in the side of the face and he groaned. He rolled onto his back and she began to stomp on his stomach,_

_“Fine… You have twenty seconds to get your things together otherwise you’ll burn with them.” She said quietly, he got up off the floor and got his things,_

_“Twelve seconds,” he moved to the door._

_“I’m sorry,” he said._

_“Five,” she took out a gun and pulled the hammer back,_

_“Zoe, I am so sorry,” she shot with deadly accuracy and the bullet landed directly next to his head. His eyes widened in shock._

_“Times up,” she said and she trained the gun on him. He gulped and opened the door before walking out._

"Ahh!" She screamed,

_Zoe ran as fast as her legs would carry her. She could hear Dean screaming for Sam and banging on the door. They heard Lilith laugh and then all was quiet. They burst through the doors._

_“You did it…” Ruby whispered, she began to laugh and Zoe took the bitches knife and rammed it through her._

_“Wherever you go… It is too kind for you.” Ruby let go of a twisted laugh and fell dead. The blood from Lilith began to for into a circle of intricate markings and low rumbling began. It got worse and Dean pulled her to him and bright white light burst forward and up through the ceiling._

"Someone help!" Zoe sobbed,

_“I sent your ass back to hell,” Zoe growled._

_“Yeah… Didn’t really stick. See, if you’re as old as I am you learn a thing or two. Oh well, sick em’ boys.” The group ran as the hell hounds chased. Dean fell and Zoe and Jo both turned around. Jo fired off her shotgun and two of the beasts yelped. Dean rose to his feet and he and Zoe watched as Jo was torn into. Sam and Ellen both turned to fire and Zoe helped carry Jo to safety._

_Later Jo was fairing worse. Her skin pale. Ellen was beside herself. Regardless of Dean and Sam tried to tell her she wasn’t hearing it. In the pit of Zoe’s stomach she knew Jo would die._

_“Alright you three, listen up… We can build a bomb but someone’s gotta stay and make sure it goes.”_

_“Ellen, no.” Zoe had tears streaming down her cheeks,_

_“Zoe… I gotta do this,” she guided Zoe to Dean. “Alright boys, there is an emergency exit in the back that leads to the roof. Get there and whatever happens don’t look back.” They all walked off. Not before they heard Ellen say Jo and start sobbing. And just in time to here “come get me you son’s of bitches.” And the store exploded behind them._

* * *

 

Zoe opened her eyes to find three very concerned people watching her. 

“Zoe?” Dean asked, he was worse off than the rest. 

“Badness… So much badness just ensued.” She looked at Sam, “I can’t believe I almost blew your head off…” 

“It’s okay. At the time I kind of deserved it.” 

“Guys, can I get a minute alone with Dean?” She asked quietly, Charlie and Sam nodded and left the room, closing the door and locking it, Dean sat on her bed. He grasped his hand and she took a deep breath. 

“We were engaged?” She asked quietly, Dean nodded and let go of a shaky breath. 

“Yeah… Then you threw the right back at me because of the fight I got into with Sam.” She nodded and rested her head on his shoulder, 

“I’m so sorry… Even though I don’t remember it all… Dean I’m sorry I never took the ring back. I’m sorry me being here is causing you pain. I should go.” 

“Are you kidding me?” He asked, “this is the happiest I’ve been in two years,” he said. 

“But it isn’t fair to you. I see the looks you give me, Dean. It isn’t fair to you… I’m gonna go ask to go with Charlie.” She got up to move but he grabbed her arm and spun her to him. 

“You’re right, it isn’t fair… But I’m okay with it. You’ll remember one day and I’ll wait.” They were dangerously close. One more inch and her breasts would have been crushed against his chest. 

“How can you be okay with this?” She whispered, he leaned in and his lips brushed against hers. 

“Because I love you,” he said. There was something in the way he said it. Something that made her weak, her cheeks flush, and her core heat up. She wanted him. Dean gave her a sexy little smile and moved backwards with her until he was against the headboard, his hands on her hips. She moved almost out instinct and he gasped. 

“Dean…” She breathed out, 

“Yeah?” She didn’t say anything, she just dipped her head to kiss him. It was soft like the last one but filled with passion. It was fiery and hot and needy. He broke away from her mouth and trailed his lips down her neck. When he made to her collarbone he bit down lightly and began to trail hot, open mouthed kisses back up.   
Her eyes fluttered shut and she was lost in his touches. How his hands moved beneath her shirt and explored the expanse of hot skin. He his mouth did things to her that were completely sinful. He rolled slowly so that she was underneath him. He hovered over her and smirked down at her flushed expression. 

“You okay, sweetheart?” He purred, 

“Yes,” she answered. She grabbed the front of his shirt and tugged, pulling him into another fiery kiss. He moved his tongue in circles around her lips until she parted them, giving him access. Their tongues clashed in a dance so foreign yet so familiar. He tasted her, claimed her before he pulled back and gave her an evil grin. 

“Let me take care of you,” he whispered. She nodded and he sat back and took off her top. She undid that strap of her bra and flung it across the room. He took a nipple between is thumb and finger and began to pull and tweak on it. His mouth moved to the other, sucking it between his lips and running his teeth lightly along it. She felt heat building inside her. The things he could do with his tongue! 

“Dean…” She gasped, 

“You can hold it princess. I wanna taste you,” he said huskily. She whined in complaint but he gave her a wolfish grin. Once both of her nipples were as hard as pebbles he eased her pants and panties off her. “Damn, sweetheart. So wet for me,” he teased her with his finger and she yelped at the contact. He gave her a devilish smile, 

“I can’t hold on,” she was practically in tears. He kissed from her breasts, down her stomach and to her clit where he paused and gave a flick with his tongue. She shuddered, “please.” He spread her legs open and licked her wet lips before flicking his tongue inside her. Her back arched and she moaned in pleasure. 

“That’s it, come for me.” He began to assault her and it wasn’t long until she was begging for him to finish her. With one more flick she was gone. He kept his mouth over her, taking in every last drop of her sweet release. He licked his lips, 

“I need you,” she begged. He lifted his shirt over his head and stripped naked. He parted her legs and lined up with her entrance. 

“Are you sure you want this?” He asked, 

“Yes,” she moved closer to him. “God yes,” he slowly entered her.  Painstakingly slow until he was fully sheathed inside her. He stilled for a moment and dipped his head and kissed her. He pulled out until only his head was left inside and slammed back into her. She gasped as a mixture of pain and pleasure was sent through her body. 

She closed her eyes, 

“Sweetheart, look at me,” he said softly. Her eyes opened and blue bore into green. He began to move his hips again, taking slow powerful strokes and the intimacy of looking into his eyes was beyond comprehension. He kissed her again, this time slowly and passionately.   
He began to move a little faster and she started to meet his thrusts. Heat began to pool inside her. 

“That’s right, come for me.” He said, with a powerful thrust she screamed his name. He began to pound into her. Her body was numb yet at the same time on fire. Pleasure burned in her veins as each thrust rocked her body. It was rhythmic, each roll of his hips made her want more. Never wanting the glorious contact to end.   
Then his movements began to falter. More erratic and filled with need. With another powerful thrust he came undone within her, her name leaving his lips.

* * *

“That didn’t take long,” Charlie said right after she heard Zoe scream Dean’s name. She put on some music to drown out the noise, 

“No it did not,” Sam agreed. 

“I’m really grossed out but I’m happy for Dean.” Sam nodded, 

“Dean never hooked up with anyone while she was in the coma. Not one person.” 

“When I read the Supernatural books, it said they got engaged and then well… You and Demon blood plus fight…” 

“How the hell did you even find them?” 

“The internet.” Charlie said, 

“You can’t, like, hack them out of existence?” 

“Nope,” Sam groaned.

* * *

2 Hours Later   
Zoe smiled as she laid her head against Dean’s chest. She felt good. Dean moved his hand up and down her back. He was tracing a scar. 

“I forgot how you got this,” he mumbled. 

_"Son of a bitch!” She yelped as the sword was stabbed through her, the manl tugged it upward and ripped it out. She slammed her leg back and nailed him in the crotch before she brought the angel blade up and stabbed him in the chest. The bright white light made her shield her eyes. She gasped for breath as the adrenaline wore off._

_Falling to her knees her life flashed before her eyes. Then she felt the building rumble and she rose to her feet and ran. Every time her feet hit the ground it was a stab of almost unbearable pain._

_“No…” She gasped when the pain radiated through her and her limbs locked. Her for head connected with the hard asphalt and saw stars. But she had to keep going._   
_So she got to her feet and shook away the fog and moved. She had woken up in a very strange place, and she had no idea what direction to run. All she knew is that the name Dean was on repeat with a set of numbers and instructions. And apparently she was a real badass._

_“If we ever get separated, go to the first motel in the phone book.” That is all she could remember. She didn’t know whos she was, how old she was, or who this 'Dean' guy was. All she knew was that his instructions meant safety._

_So when she felt safe to stop she fished her pockets. Forty five dollars. That should be enough for a really sleazy motel, right?_

_**Hours Later** _

_She sat on the motel bed and thought of the numbers. Coordinates? No… There were too many to be that. Area code and coordinates? That didn’t seem right either. So she picked up the phone and tried it._

_Ring Ring Ring…_

_“Hello?”_

_“Is this Dean?”_

_“Zoe?! Where the hell are you?”_

_“Look, I just woke up in this shady back water town, I got stabbed and I have lost a lot of blood.”_

This time the headache wasn’t bad, no nose bleed, just a strange feeling. 

“I lost my memory?” Zoe's voice was quiet, barely above a whisper. 

“Yeah… For a little while… Cas was able to fix you… I guess not this time.” 

“I got stabbed and a shit ton of Angels were after me. What the fuck did I do?” Dean explained what had happened in that month long period. How the Angels erased her memory in hopes of her not remembering how to fight. In hopes that she would be what pushed Dean to say yes to Michael. But they didn’t count on the fact that her memories of fighting and surviving were very much intact.

* * *

Zoe walked out into the Library of the bunker where Charlie and Sam sat. Dean wasn’t far behind her. When she stopped her rested a hand on her shoulder and she smiled. 

"What are you guys up to?" Dean asked,

“Well, while you two were, well, you know. I just about fixed that computer.” Dean smiled and ran to Charlie and pulled her into a giant hug. “Whoa, okay, oxygen becoming a problem.” Zoe just shook her head and walked into the kitchen. She grabbed the coffee pot and washed it out before putting fresh grounds into a new filter. 

She sat at the small table and watched as the coffee brewed. Might as well considering she felt completely out of place with the Winchester’s and Charlie. Yeah, she and Dean, not two hours ago had mind blowing sex but she still felt out of place. 

Why was it so hard? Clearly she fit in. Dean loved her. He had made that known in many, very talented ways, but she still felt a void. Still felt off. She couldn’t for the life of her explain what she felt. It was so different from anything. From grief, anger, etc. It felt like she didn’t belong.   
When Dean walked into the kitchen he gave her a charming smile. She couldn’t help but smile back.  

“What’s on your mind?” She gave him a curious look, 

“What makes you think that something is?” 

“Because the Zoe I know likes to be alone so she can think.” He said with a shrug. She sighed and laid her head against the table. 

“I don’t fit.” She put simply, 

“What do you mean?” 

“Just that… I feel so out of place here… Like I really don’t belong.” He walked over to her and sat down. He took her hand, she picked her head up and looked at him. 

“You’re wrong. This,” he motioned around, “is where you belong. With me and Sammy. Your family.” She nodded, 

“I just have felt so out of place… I don’t remember how to fight or shoot a gun… I don’t remember any Latin besides a few phrases… I don’t fit with you , Dean…” Her eyes watered and she looked down at the table and let go of a little laugh. “I guess good things just don’t happen for me, huh?” He cupped the side of her face and she looked up at him. 

“Why are you saying this?” 

“Because, ever since coming to the bunker all I feel is out of place. I don’t feel like I belong here. Part of me does but the other part of me is scared shitless. I should leave, Dean… I can’t bear the fact that I am putting you through pain because I don’t remember us.” Her voice was strong even though she wanted to cry, 

“Look… I can get enough money to put myself up for a little while and figure things out… But it isn’t fair to you if I stay here.” He nodded slowly and dropped his hand. Tears burned the back of his eyes. Getting up he walked out of the kitchen and to his room.

* * *

“Are you sure about this? That is a lot of very not legal money.” Zoe looked at Charlie’s computer. 

“How do you think I get by?” She asked with a laugh, she stood and Zoe gave her a hug. 

“Take care of yourself, Charlie.” She then turned to Sam who was having a very hard time keeping his emotions in check. She gave him a hug, “dude, I promise I will call… This isn’t permanent.” She said, then Dean was no where to be found. She looked around the library and sighed. 

“I guess this is goodbye… For now.” Sam and Charlie both nodded and watched as she walked out of the bunker. When she hit the fresh air her body began to protest. Tears burned her eyes and fell. She thought she was alone when she heard the roar of the Impala and she looked up from the ground. Dean hopped out of the car and walked over to her. 

“Where am I taking you?” The sound of his voice made it obvious he had no intention of letting her go by herself.

“Bobby’s old hunting cabin… If it’s still there.” He nodded and they set off.

* * *

 The Impala rolled to a stop and Dean killed the engine. He helped her with her things and then began heading to the door.

“No goodbye?” She asked, he turned around. 

“This is already hard for me… Don’t make it worse,” his voice was begging. 

“Bye Dean…” He took a deep breath and left. He closed the door behind him and sped away. Zoe sat on the couch and felt tears leave her.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, if you haven't noticed yet I have changed some things. Like, Charlie for one thing is not in Oz yet. Also Dean and Sam never had the falling out. *Glares accusingly at writers and spits at them* "That's for Kevin!" 
> 
> I hope you enjoy this chapter. Let me know what you guys think so far.


	4. Distance Makes The Heart Grow Fonder

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Zoe finds out something that rattles her to her core. Taylor shows up, and another person from Zoe's past appears. 
> 
> How will Dean handle what Zoe has to tell him?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so sorry I have been gone for so long. Depression sucks. Bipolar sucks. School sucks... I have no excuse, I am just so sorry. Please forgive me.

A month had passed and Zoe found herself walking  through the small town that was near the cabin. Sam had been gracious enough to talk Dean into letting her use one of the cars that resided in the garage at the bunker. It was old and not in production anymore but ran smoothly and drove right.

She sat at the park and brought the cigarette to her lips. That’s when she felt a presence next to her. She looked to her right and saw a short man approaching her. He had graying curly hair and had an obscene amount of confidence about him.

“You must be Zoe,” he said.

“How the fuck do you know who I am?” She questioned,

“That is not important. I need to know where Castiel is.” She gave him an odd look, “what?”

“You just waltz up to me, knowing my name and everything and expect me to tell you? I’m not sure you understand that saying things like that gets you no where.” She took another drag off her cigarette, “besides… I have no idea where Cas is but even if I did I really wouldn’t feel comfortable telling you. Sorry…” She dropped her cigarette and got up. She started to walk away,

“That’s a shame… I know a way to give you back your memories.” She stopped, she turned slowly to look at him,

“I am not selling out one of my friends just to fix myself… they are coming back fine on their own.”

“It will kill you, you know.” She rolled her eyes,

“Yeah, just like this conversation.” She stormed away and got back in the car and drove back to the cabin. She killed the engine and practically ran inside before locking the door behind her. Sam had taken the effort to ward the place top to bottom. She pulled out her phone and called Sam.

“Zoe?”

“Put it on speaker and get Dean.” She heard Sam call for Dean. It was no secret to either of them that Dean was going to great lengths to avoid her.

“Zoe, what is going on?” It was welcomed to hear the concern in his voice,

“Some guy showed up at the park and he tried to get me to tell him where Cas is. Like I had any idea, and then he offered to give back my memories…”

“What’d he look like?” Sam asked after a long pause,

“He was short, had almost an afro that was almost completely grey, was arrogant as hell and acted like he knew everything about anything.”

“Metatron,” Dean bit out.

“Wait…” She thought about the life she lived in her coma and she now remembered. “How did I not realize?” She then fell into deep thought,

“Zoe?” Sam and Dean asked in unison,

“I was just thinking… In my coma, I knew who Metatron was because of the TV show… But I got put in a coma two years ago, that was before you guys knew who he was…” She felt a headache coming on,

“We will cross that bridge later,” Sam said. “None of that warding has been broken has it?”

“Nope, all the same as you left it…” She felt nauseous all of the sudden. She dropped the phone and ran to the trash can by the door and began to puke. After emptying the contents of her stomach she grabbed her phone,

“Sorry,” she grabbed a bottle of water and moved to the sink where she swished her mouth out and spit.

“What happened?”

“Me puking,” she grimaced and she felt her stomach lurch. “I will call you guys right back.”

* * *

Sam looked at the phone in surprise,

“Since when does Zoe get sick?” Sam asked, he saw Dean’s retreating form and he sighed. Dean was still torn up about Zoe leaving. They had just gotten her back and she decided the best thing for her to do was to leave.

Sam didn’t blame her for it, he just wished he understood better why she had decided it needed to be done. He sighed and set his phone down before holding his head in his hands. He was exhausted. They had just gotten back from a hunt way up in Michigan.

He thought back to the mutilated bodies of the family they had found in the house. How it ended up being the father that was the werewolf. It made him sick thinking about kids getting dragged into it. He heard a loud crash and groaned.

‘Real mature’ he thought as another crash sounded. Then there was Dean, the man child he had been dealing with since Zoe had left.

* * *

Zoe looked in front of the bathroom mirror and sighed. She didn’t get sick. Not when she was in her coma life and not as a hunter. She didn’t want to think much about it. She had started feeling off a few days prior and now she was puking. Only once she can remember being sick.

She just really hoped that she wasn’t getting a stomach bug. She remembered as a child she had gotten it so bad she ended up in the hospital. Or… In her coma that is what had happened. After that day she had vowed she would never get sick again and it had gotten to the point that her friends joked that she bathed in hand sanitizer. She groaned when another wave of nausea hit her.

“Fuck!” She puked into the sink, “fuck.” Her cellphone rang and she gave the number a curious look. “Hello?”

“Hey,”

“Taylor? How the hell did you get this number?”

“Don’t worry about it, listen, I need help and maybe a place to stay?” The last part came out more of a question,

“Yeah, sure.” Zoe felt bile rise in her throat and coughed, “maybe not right now though because I think I am sick.”

“It’s fine, really. Can I come?” Zoe sighed,

“Yeah,” she told her the address.

“I’ll be there tomorrow.” Taylor hung up and Zoe dropped her phone when she went to puke again.

* * *

Tomorrow came and Zoe unlocked the door to find a very frightening situation. Taylor had bruises all over her, her left eye was swollen shut and her right arm was limp at her side. Se didn’t look to be in much pain.

“What the hell happened?” Taylor walked past her and Zoe shut the door.

“Um…” Taylor sighed,

“What _happened_?” Zoe asked more forcefully,

“He hurt me…” Taylor broke,

“Who hurt you?”

“My asshole of a boyfriend… Ex boyfriend. He got drunk and he…” She didn’t need to finish, Zoe balled her fists.

“Where does he live?”

“I may have hexed him…” She sat down on the couch and tears fell out of her eyes. “He won’t hurt anyone ever again.” She groaned in pain, “you think you could pop my arm back in?” She asked after a long moment.

“Of course,” Zoe walked over. “On the count of three.”

“Just get it over with!” Taylor snapped, Zoe popped it back in. What was weird to her was that it seemed like she did this a lot. It was like a second nature.

“How the hell are you not in more pain?”

“I’m really stoned,” Taylor said with a shrug. Zoe nodded with a laugh,

“Let me get some ice for you eye,” she said. She walked to the freezer got out an icepack and wrapped it in a towel before bringing it back over. “Here,” Taylor took it and gave her a grateful smile. Zoe felt her stomach lurch and she ran to the trash can, she emptied her stomach and began to curse.

“How long has this been going on?” Taylor asked,

“Since yesterday morning. It subsides a little during the day but I am still puking at least six times a day.”

“How much have puked today?”

“Four times,” she said miserably, “and I have only been up for two hours.” Taylor nodded,

‘If only you knew’ Taylor thought.

* * *

“Dean, you are being ridiculous!” Sam said, he banged on Dean’s door.

“Fuck off, Sam!” Dean hollered,

“Dude, this isn’t permanent. She made sure that you knew that.” Sam said, Dean was quiet for a few moments.

“It hurts, man.”

“Trust me, I know. But it isn’t forever, just give her time.” Dean opened the door and walked past Sam.

“I need a drink,” he grumbled and Sam rolled his eyes.

“’Cause that is really what you need.”

* * *

Another day passed and Taylor finally spoke up.

“Did you and Dean have sex?” Zoe stopped and then turned to look at her,

“Uh…”

“Be honest,” Zoe nodded.

“Look… I think you might be pr-“

“Don’t say it,” Zoe said.

“Did he wear a condom?”

“No, bu-“

“How long has it been?”

“A month but I don-“

“Did you get your period this month?” Zoe’s eyes widened,

“I my periods have always been inconsistent. You know that!”

“Sweetie, look at the signs. It has been one month since you guys fucked, he didn’t wear a condom. Now you haven’t had your period and are puking.  Just go buy a test.” Taylor had her suspicions the minute she touched Zoe taking the icepack.

“No… It isn’t possible.”

“Oh it is entirely possible, seriously, prove me wrong.” Taylor said with a shrug, Zoe  glared at her.

* * *

In town Zoe felt intimidated by the shelf completely filled with pregnancy tests. Were the all the same? Did one work better than the other? She settled on the most expensive one, seeing as Charlie wired her enough money and then some. As she was walking to the register her eyes bulged as she saw a man she never thought she would see again. She had remembered who he was a little while after leaving the bunker and those memories had crushed her.

“If it isn’t the whore,” he said. She gulped,

“Robert…” She tried to move past him but he grabbed her arm,

“We are not finished here.” She ripped her arm away from him and walked over to the register. The girl rung up the test,

“Good luck,” she said. Zoe thanked her and walked out of the store, but not before Robert followed her out.

“I told you we weren’t finished.”

“There isn’t anything to talk about. You don’t control me anymore,” she felt her fear rise. She felt his hand grasp around her wrist.

“You made me go to prison,” he growled.

“You did that to yourself you abusive prick.” She felt a stinging slap and her eyes widened in shock. She felt tears burn her eyes and she was suddenly thirteen again and cowering in fear.

“Look at me when I talk to you!” He barked, that pulled her out of the flashback. He went to smack her again but she grabbed his wrist and calmly looked him in the eyes.

“If you hit me one more time I will make you regret it,” she said with a deadly calm voice. She shut down the part of her that wanted to scream and have people help her. She knew she could handle herself. She let go of his hand and waited and it wasn’t long until she felt another stinging slap.

Her face darkened and she kicked him in the crotch as hard as she could. As he let go of her wrist she grabbed his head and slammed her knee into the side of his face before kicking him in the jaw.

“I am not a scared little girl anymore. You can’t hit me to get your way you psychopath,” she realized that there were a group of people who had stood by and watched the altercation. One man clapped and stepped forward,

“Do you need me to call the police?” He asked,

“No… But maybe an ambulance.” She suggested, he looked at Robert and shook his head.

“Nah, asshole deserved it,” he had a heavy British accent.

“Look, I have to get going.” She said, “it was nice meeting you…”

“Derrick,” he said,

“Well it was nice meeting you.” She hurried back to her car and once the door closed behind her she began to cry.

_“What the fuck is this?” Robert asked, he held up the report card and she gulped._

_“An F,” she said quietly. She felt the back of his hand hit her and she whimpered._

_“You fucking disgrace! I didn’t raise you like this.”_

_“That’s because you didn’t raise me!” She shouted, finally standing up to the tyrant that was her step dad. “Send me to hell for having depression. Try being in the same car accident that killed you father!” His fist connected with her jaw and she yelped._

_“You do not raise your voice to me!” He slammed her head against the wall and snapped her wrist. She began to scream in pain._

_Later that night they were home from the emergency room. Her mom saw her and her eyes went wide._

_“What happened?” Robert stepped forward and placed a hand on Zoe’s shoulder causing her to whimper. Sarah nodded,_

_“Thought so,” he said. “I’m going to bed,” he stormed off. They stood in silence in front hall for about five minutes before he yelled, “make sure dumbass takes her pain meds!”_

_“I have to run to the store, is it okay if I take her?!”_

_“Nope!” Sarah nodded and grabbed her purse,_

_“Mom, please take me with you.” Zoe whispered, “please don’t leave me alone with him!” She begged trying to keep her voice quiet,_

_“I’m sorry.” Sarah whispered before rushing out of the house. Zoe broke into sobs, making sure they were silent she walked to the kitchen and took instead of one, three Percocet. She was not going to deal with the pain she felt. She honestly wished she could die then and there._

_Later she was watching Buffy, trying to take her mind off the horrible day. The medicine made it way to hard to keep up with what was going on. That’s when she saw him standing in her doorway. His erection throbbing and mast in front of him._

_“Your mother didn’t come home and I am horny,” he said lowly._

_“What?” She asked, her mind must be playing tricks on her._

_“You heard me, now strip.” She didn’t make a move and he glared at her. He stormed over to the bed and ripped her clothes from her body._

_“Stop!” She screamed when he spread her legs open. This wasn’t happening,_

_“Shut the fuck up!” His breath wreaked of alcohol. He slammed into her and she cried out in pain._

_“Please stop. You’re hurting me!” He clamped his hand around her throat and she felt herself begin to choke. He began to thrust harder until he came with shudder. He pulled out of her and punched her square in the jaw,_

_“Fucking slut!” He spit on her and walked out. She felt blood trickle down her thighs. She was powerless to stop what had just happened. She was powerless to stop him from taking her virginity. After the pain meds wore off some she got up and pulled a nightgown over her head and lept out her window and she ran._

_She ran as fast as her legs would carry her. She was in survival mode. So when he finally stopped at a house she banged on the door._

_“Zoe what the hell is going on!” Tears streamed down her cheeks and Taylor saw the blood between her thighs. Her eyes flashed with anger when she saw the bruising on her eyes and the welt on the side of her head. The casted wrist._

_“Get inside,” Zoe broke as she walked into the house._

_“Taylor what the hell is going on, it is a school night!” Zoe wasn’t quite sure what was going on until Taylor’s father saw her. Zoe was shaking and silent tears rolled out of her._

_“Taylor call the police,” Dan said. Taylor ran to the phone and dialed 911 and began to explain what was going on._

_“They need to talk to her,”_

_“Zoe, can you talk?” Dan asked her calmly, she nodded and took the phone._

_“Ma’am, as calmly as you can I need you to explain to me what has happened.” There was banging on the door and Zoe started to scream, Taylor took the phone back,_

_“Both of you upstairs!” Dan ordered, Taylor grabbed her hand and lead her upstairs and locked the door to her bedroom. Finally sirens blared and there was a knock at the bedroom door._

_“This is Officer Peterson,” Taylor hung up the phone and ran to unlock the door._

Zoe was pulled from the flashback when she saw that Derrick guy looking in the window.

* * *

She arrived back at the cabin and locked the door behind her. Taylor looked up and saw how puffy her eyes were and the tear stains on her cheeks.

“What happened?” She asked jumping to her feet,

“He’s out…” She whispered,

“Zoe, who’s he?”

“Robert is out of prison!” She cried, tears began to fall immediately. Taylor pulled her into a warm embrace. “Out of all the towns he ended up in…” Zoe sobbed, “why is this happening?” Taylor saw the bruising around her wrist and she sighed.

“Let me get some ice for your wrist and you can tell me where that fucker is.”

“No… I…” She took a few calming breaths, “I think I fractured his cheek bone… Maybe more,” she said quietly.

“That’s my girl,”

“I need to go take that test,” she needed to forget. So she took the box and read the instructions. She followed them and set a timer on her phone and waited. Once it went off she stalled. She took a deep breath and looked at the test. Positive. It was fucking positive. She began to shake and tears fell from her eyes.

“Zoe?”

“Come in,” she said through her tears. The door opened and that is how Taylor found her. Crying on the bathroom floor clutching a positive pregnancy test.

“You need to tell Dean, sweetie.” Taylor said quietly.

“I know… I just don’t know how.”

* * *

Zoe arrived at the Bunker, Taylor in tow. She sighed and pulled her phone out.

“Zoe?” Sam asked,

“I’m here… At the Bunker.”

“Yeah, come in.” She got out of the car and went to the metal set of doors. Opening them she walked in, Taylor following closely behind. Sam met her at the bottom of the steps.

“Sam this is Taylor, she’s the one that gave us the knife that killed the fear demon. You two make nice,” she stalked off in the direction of Dean’s room. When she got to his door she knocked.

“Go away, Sam.”

“Not Sam,” Zoe said weakly. She heard him get up and open the door.

“What the hell are you doing here? We talked about this.” His voice sounded hurt, tears fell down her cheeks.

“W-we need to talk,” sobs wracked her body and Dean’s stance changed and he pulled her into a warm embrace.

“Okay,” he whispered. Pulling her into the room he closed the door. “What’s going on?” Zoe felt more tears leave her as she tried to find words. Taking a deep breath she pulled the pregnancy test from her pocket and handed it to him. He took it in his hands and his eyes wandered from it to her and then back.

She saw his eyes well with tears and he finally looked at her again.

“Is it mine?” He finally asked, she nodded and began to cry. He sat next to her and she flinched. “Zoe,” he said softly. “Look at me,” she moved her eyes to meet his. A tear slipped past his lashes, “I’m gonna be a dad?” He whispered,

“I-“ his lips found hers and she felt that spark again. When he pulled back she looked at him, “you’re not mad?”

“No,” he said with a shake of his head. “I’m just surprised.”

“Dean, what are we gonna do?”

“We deal with it… Baby, god. This is the last thing I wanna say to you… If you don’t want to keep it…” She knew exactly where he was going,

“No. That is not happening.”

“Zoe, I know you don’t remember what we have, but I will be there for you and the baby if you let me. In any way you’ll have me.” More sobs fell from her,

“I’m scared, Dean.”

“I know, Zoe I know.” She looked down at their intertwined hands and then memories started to bombard her. She recalled the moment she looked at Dean and she knew she loved him. The day he actually got on one knee and every emotion that had run through her body. The day she could see a future with him. It all came back, every moment of her and Dean came back.

Feeling the headache was nothing compare to the joy that passed through her. He wiped the blood from her nose and she looked at him.

“Zoe, I know that you’re scared, but w-“

“I love you,” she blurted out.

“What?” The disbelief in his voice hurt a little,

“Dean… Every second I have been awake I have been falling for you all over again… But I ran because I was scared… But the memories… I fucking love you,” his lips found hers once again. 

* * *

In the library Sam felt uneasy as he looked at Taylor.

“Dude, staring at me like that isn’t gonna make me go away.” He nodded,

“You’re a witch,”

“Wicca!” She shouted, “I don’t sacrifice babies, I do not preform demon summoning rituals, and I very rarely use black magic. Fucking hunters I swear to Hecate!” She groaned,

“Look, hunters and witches don’t get along. How do I know I can trust you?”

“Because Zoe was my best friend growing up and she still is?” She suggested, “or maybe it’s because I willingly helped save your sorry ass from a Pagan Fear Demon. There is also the fact that if I wanted to hurt you don’t you think I would have done it by now?” She was breathing heavily at this point.

“That really doesn’t mean anything.”

“You know what a truth spell is?”

“Yes…”

“Cast one on me and find out if I am lying to you.” She took of her necklace and bracelet. “Both my protection charms are gone. So go ahead, I’ll sit here and wait.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guyyyyyyssssss it happened, they said it... Okay, so, I am back and I will try to update weekly if not biweekly.


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